“I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.” The words rang out through the market several days ago as I pushed my buggy not really paying attention to where I was going. How many Christmases have I heard and sung those words without a second thought to the weight they hold? I can recall only one other Christmas when I was far away from home and family. It was Christmas 1972 when I was living in Okinawa, Japan, expecting my first child – a child myself. I recall how important family and home became to me that year and every year since. So much so that during the holidays that have come and gone since 1972 I have planned holidays around family and home.
This year is different. I am far away from family, far away from home. I am not lamenting the fact that this is so because I know that I am here in Africa because I chose God’s leading. Still, the waves of homesickness engulf me during this time of year more so than any other time because Christmas is synonymous with family, home, warm feelings, joy, surprises, decorating cookies, honey-baked ham (okay, now I have to stop!), and so on. A shorter way to describe the feeling? Love. Pure and simple. Love.
A few nights ago I was thinking about “home for Christmas” while reading a book by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance – Drawing Closer to the Heart of God. In the particular portion I was reading Brent very transparently shares an incident that had happened to him which caused old feelings of pain and inadequacy to swell up within him. He writes, “Bringing what was happening back up into my head in order to put words to it, I can only say it was as if Jesus were telling me, ‘I understand your ache, Brent…It’s okay. Rest in my love.’ There were no words of admonishment or exhortations to try harder…I knew in my heart, in a way I perhaps hadn’t before, the depth of Jesus’ love for me on the cross. I felt like I was home. Resting in Jesus is not applying a spiritual formula to ourselves as a kind of fix-it…It is letting our heart tell us where we are in our own story so that Jesus can minister to us out of the Story of his love for us…when we give up everything else but him, we experience the freedom of knowing that he simply loves us where we are. We begin just to be, having our identity anchored in him.”
What a blessing to know that in Jesus I am home, no matter where I am! “Rest in my love.” That is what Jesus offers to all of us regardless of our circumstances – his rest, his love.
Paul said it this way, “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:14-19
Namibian sky compliments of God.
One of my favorite praise and worship songs of late is “Amazed,” written by Jared Anderson. The lyrics go like this,
You dance over me while I am unaware
You sing all around, but I never hear the sound
Lord, I’m amazed by you
Lord, I’m amazed by you
Lord, I’m amazed by you
How you love me
You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind
My hope will always stand for you hold me in your hand
Lord, I’m amazed by you
Lord, I’m amazed by you
Lord, I’m amazed by you
How you love me
How wide
How deep
How great is your love for me.
”I’ll be home for Christmas…” is truer than I realized. Because of Jesus’ great love for me I am home. He whispers to me and you. “Rest in my love.”
December 13, 2008 at 4:46 pm |
Cindy,
Thank you. You inspire me. That is one of my favorite songs as well. We are praying for you. When I got your first letter, I just sat and cried. God is calling us to something greater and we aren’t quite sure what that is yet. Pray for us. God is using people like you to challenge the rest of us to be willing to go when He says “go”. We are willing, we just don’t know where He’s going to take us and when.
“Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus, to ask for protection and grace for Cindy. I pray that she will feel your presense today as she serves her community. Father, I ask that you would fill her heart with peace as she celebrates Christmas this year with her new friends. Please give her comfort as she is away from her family and missing them so much. Help her to remember that we are not home yet and that we have eternity to be together. Bless her for her sacrifice and bless her family for their understanding and support. I pray that you would use her in a mighty way for your glory. In Jesus name I ask these things, Amen.”
February 2, 2009 at 9:06 pm |
Cindy,
I was so excited to get your Feb. newsletter and actually went immediately to your blog, you are such a good writer. Does it come naturally or was that your college major? I so understand some of the thoughts you have about being away from family, I have never had to be away more than a month and got homesick. I will pray for your needs and hope that you’ll share any as they come up. It’s so nice to know you are able to see Gods hand of protection and love on you, He will get you through. Blessings my friend.
Sandy